Being a half-assed artist (which is much much different than being a deciplined, creative, prolific one), I am such a fan of those who can just sit and paint something.  Maybe it’s easier when you have a studio, or a room devoted to doing nothing but art, and can go in, mess it up, and close the door leaving everything there until your next muse hits.  Actually I have an artist friend, Annie, and I used to go to her house and spend the weekend every now and then and we would become consumed by whatever project we were doing.  It was blissful.  Her studio was a huge garden room off the upstairs bedrooms with windows all the way around.  Actually that was one of two studios.  She had another at the top of the stairs.  I guess it depended on what kind of light she needed as to which one she preferred.  Or the size of the piece she was working on.  Anyway, some of my best artistic moments were in those rooms.  Not so much the actual thing I was working on, but the fact that I could get lost in it until the wee hours of the morning and not have to clean anything up before just dropping into bed, creatively spent.  Unfortunately she doesn’t have that house anymore, but she still made her art a priority and carved a space in her basement for when the muse hits.  I haven’t been so good about that.

I do not have that kind of room in my little ranch style house.  I don’t have that kind of light in any of the rooms either.  So, when the muse hits, it’s this ritual of finding the supplies, finding a surface that will accomodate whatever I’m doing, and then about the time I’m REALLY getting into the project, it’s time to clean up or the cats will track their own brand of art onto whatever I’m doing, and the men I live with will wonder “how long will this be here?”  So I avoid the whole process.  I hate being so responsible.  I want to buy the house next door and have the whole thing be nothing but a studio, kitchen and guest room.  Ah, one can dream…

I’m sure when the muse hits Ron Wood, he’s either at one of his amazing villas with a seperate studio, or in a city in his artist loft, creating his ass off.  He’s so good.  Not only is the man a great guitar player, but also a wonderful painter.  With Ron’s life being so turbulant this past year, I guess he has had a lot to work out on canvas.  Pain does tend to lead to great art.  Clapton was so amazing when he was a mess.  I’m glad that his life is better now, but I think it took life torture to make the music he did.  Back to Ronnie…

One time when Gloria and I went to Las Vegas for the N.A.B. convention, we were downstairs in the MGM Grand where the shops are, and one of the art galleries had a whole display of nothing but Ron Wood’s stuff.  The real deal too!  Origionals! Just amazing!  He works so well with color, bringing that rock and roll passion to his creations. 

Now you can wear Ron’s art.  But it ain’t cheap, my friends.  Oh no!  If you’re a Gucci, Prada, Coach wearing type, then you won’t get sticker shock.  I get sticker shock if it’s the original price at Target.  Seriously.  Those name labels don’t EVER call to me.  I wasn’t raised that way, and I can’t get past it.  However, if there’s a rock star involved, I may give it a wink or two before telling myself that it will never happen, I can’t afford it, get serious.  Ron’s stuff is cool, bright, and it’s Ron Wood for crying out loud. 

Here’s the link to check out the shirts, scarves, wallets, dresses and other things I can’t and won’t afford.  CLICK HERE!

Meanwhile, since I won’t be gardening this year, maybe I do need to clear out a room where I can get my artistic groove on.  Somewhere the cats aren’t allowed.  Or my men.  Guess I’ll owe them a garage makeover too.  The men that is.

Dear Scorpions,

We are very excited about your upcoming tour date here in the Pacific Northwest. I had originally heard that you were considering playing at the Rose Garden Arena here in Portland. Portland, Oregon that is. In addition, you had also been considering a tour stop at The Amphitheater at Clark County in Ridgefield, Washington as part of the Clark County Fair. So you would have played in Portland one night and in Ridgefield the next night, perhaps under the impression that getting to Ridgefield for the next night’s show was going to be an overnight, groupie and booze fueled 500 mile bus ride away. I understand that your tour date setter-upper had been unaware just how close Portland and Ridgefield were to each other, hence the confusion about at which venue you would be playing. I’m sure glad we got that cleared up.

In order to avoid even more confusion, I wanted to let you all know that the Amphitheater at Clark County, which is the official venue for the Clark County Fair concerts this year, has been renamed “The Sleep Country Amphitheater.” I didn’t want you guys to think that the Sleep Country Amphitheater tour date you now see on your calendar would be in addition to your tour stop at the Clark County Fair Amphitheater at Clark County tour date already planned for August 7th.

I hope that cleared things up for you. Looking forward to the 7th!

Best,
KGON’sider

——————————————————————————————
Dear Crosby Stills and Nash,

I wanted to let you know that we are very much looking forward to your show here at the Amphitheater at Clark County, and that the venue has been renamed The Sleep Country Amphitheater. Just trying to help clear up any questions you might have.

Second, I am sorry to say that I will not be able to attend your show at the newly christened Sleep Country Amphitheater (boy- that just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it?) on Friday, June 11th as I will be attending the Tom Petty concert at the Gorge Amphitheater that very same night. Please don’t be angry- I did see you guys here last year out at Edgefield and you were all just great. I will be sorry to miss your show this year.

Lastly, Suite Judy Blue Eyes is on 92.3 KGON right now and that’s my favorite song of yours! Maybe if you had played it at the show last year, I would skip Tom for you this year. Not likely now.

Best,
KGON’sider

————————————————————————————–
Dear Friends and Family,

I know it’s very exciting with all of these great concert announcements this week and all of the great shows coming up this summer, and I am sorry if I seem snappy every time one of you asks me for tickets. Please realize that with each show that comes to Portland and the surrounding area, I receive about 800,000 requests for tickets from friends and family, and by about the 30th request of the day, I tend to shoot back nasty little responses, which I certainly regret soon after I send.

I do sincerely apologize for being rude. If I happen to have any extra tickets, you’ll be the first person I call. In the meantime, please visit ticketmaster.com or ticketswest.com. And yes, it’s perfectly OK for you to ask me again every week or so, just in case I forgot you wanted tickets. Text message is a great way to do that. Anytime after 11pm or before 6am is the best time to reach me.

Best,
KGON’sider

—————————————————————————————–
Dear Jesse James,

Thank you very much.

Best,
Tiger Woods

(OK, I stole that one off of Twitter but it was really funny.)

—————————————————————————————-
Dear Doobie Brothers,

We are so excited you are coming to town again! All of your shows the past few years have been truly great and you are always so generous with tickets and meet and greets for our listeners. My favorite was two years ago out at the Oregon Garden in Silverton. Last year at the Oregon State Fair was great, too. So was your show at the Rose Garden Theater of the Clouds with the Allman Brothers last May. My mom caught you up at the Gorge Amphitheater with the Dead and she said you were just super.

I wanted to let you know that your show this year out at Edgefield on Friday, August 27th appears to be on the same night as another really exciting concert that hasn’t quite been announced yet. Regardless of the conflict, you can count on my full support for your show. Please don’t be angry, but I am not sure at this time which show I will have to attend that evening. I will certainly try and lean towards your show, but no promises right now.

See you all very soon and please make sure and play Blackwater. You know it’s my very favorite and you haven’t let me down yet.

Best,
KGON’sider

NEW VIDEO GAME CONTROLLED BY MOVEMENT OF PLAYERS’ EYES

It used to be eye-hand coordination. Now, it’s just eye coordination.

University students in England have developed a computer game that is operated by eye movements.

They developed this thing so people with severe physical disabilities could become gamers for the first time.

But, if you think about it, people WITHOUT disabilities – who are just really, really lazy and don’t want to deal with the hard work of actually moving a joystick – would also find value in this breakthrough technology.

I was just in the KGON kitchen, where the fridge-from-hell resides, as well as the constantly used coffee machine, and the junk food machine. I was using one of the microwaves for my nutritious lunch.  Actually it was.  I wasn’t happy about it, but it’s filling.  I’m attempting to be good.

There’s also a big flat screen TV in there too and someone always has it on “news” stations, blathering away even when nobody’s in there.  So, while I was waiting for my “soup” to warm up, I found out that fatty foods (like french fries and cheesecake) are as addictive as cocaine.  GEE…REALLY?  Absolute Einsteins.  Someone got a grant for figuring this out, I’m just sure of it.  

Following the crack food story, there was the “news” of the latest celebrities who are going through melt downs, or whatever.  After the Tiger Woods Thanksgiving Day Massacre (done to the tune of “Alice’s Restaurant”), more alleged women who have had sex with Sandra Bullock’s husband, and the overdose of Corey Haim, I thought we were done for a while.  But no.  There’s the speculation of the meltdown of Lindsay Lohan.  Haven’t we been watching this like a slow car wreck for years, whether we want to or not?  Oh, and Lady Gaga collapsed on stage, is cancelling shows due to “exhaustion” and is being sued by her ex-boyfriend for $30 Million.  Mind you, this station was not running “Entertainment Tonight” or “TMZ.”  This was NEWS. 

Every morning we get a prep sheet at KGON about the crap going on with celebs and all that stuff.  Also stuff from several online “news” sources.  I guess it’s more for mornings and Mark and Brian’s show than anything the rest of us do.  I just look at it for the Rock History stuff, and what’s going on with bands and such.  To be fair, there has been a lot of tabloid type stuff lately going on with Aerosmith.  Watch “Behind the Music” and you’ll know that’s how they play with each other.  Been going on for years.  Fighting, addiction, rehab, great tour.  It’s what they do.  Most rock bands have this stuff happen at some point in their history with stories of excess, collapse, repentance, and even bigger success if they haven’t died of it on the way.  That’s pretty much the formula for any of the stories on “Behind the Music” or even profiles on The Biography Channel.  Point is, we’re all flawed and I guess the sport of watching someone else’s flaws has become somewhat comforting. 

I find more comfort in the stories of how people overcame horrible odds, or fell, and got back up and were better because they figured it out.  Gives me hope.  I don’t have any big revelation here, except that I tend to root for those who are all messed up and hope they find their way out of the problem. 

Well, better go back to the kitchen to see what else is happening in the world of “news” that I may have missed.

It’s been on our site all week but I just finally got around to watching it. It sounds very cool. I even got excited. Great stuff from Ozzy, Lemmy, and many more and even some OK stuff from Fergie and the dork from Maroon 5. Seriously, where did those two come from? But they sounded alright. I will reserve judgement. And I guess Fergie’s OK; any chick that can piss her pants on stage and laugh it off saying she was drunk is A-OK in my book.

And after you watch it, you might realize that my two sick crushes don’t seem as sick as they did yesterday. In fact, I am no longer embarrassed that I said Slash and Iggy Pop were hot. They are hot. HOT!

Oh- and before you let your four year old kid watch it with you, I will warn you that it does say the eff word three times. I counted for you. You’re welcome. I guess since this came from our corporate big brothers, posting videos with swear words has become acceptable. That’s great. Saves me a boatload of editing my own swearing out of each bootleg video I manage to capture at shows. Woohoo!

Dear Music Director at KGON,

First, I would like to start by saying that I appreciate all of your hard work in scheduling many of the greatest songs ever recorded to play day after day, week after week. You are doing a mighty fine job.

Second, I would like to ask a very small favor. If it’s not too much to ask, could you please begin every Block Party Weekend every Friday at 5pm (after Shannon’s 5 O’Clock Funny of course) with a long block, I’m thinking maybe 5 or 6 songs, of Tom Petty? That would be really great for me and I’m guessing alot of other people in Portland, too.  I think you have scheduled a Tom Petty block right at 5pm a few times recently, (last Friday for sure- I know because I was listening while heading to Happy Hour and other big Petty fans that I know were sending me text messages-which I don’t read while driving- excited about the Tom Petty block party kickoff thanking me for playing him, which I didn’t take credit for as I don’t program the music, you do) and I have to say, it has made my commute home, or to whatever destination, so much better. Now that summer is coming, I thought Tom Petty would be a great permanent 5pm block from now until, say,  maybe November?

I know that Shannon is quite a big fan of Tom as well, so I’m sure he would love a Tom Petty block at 5, too.

So thanks again for all your hard work and if you would like me to provide a list of my favorite Tom Petty songs for you to choose from, I would be more than happy to do so.

Best,
KGON’Sider

Um, I think that Slash is kinda hot. I know, I know, that makes me downright disgusting and weird and warped, and I’m sorry, but I do. He’s my sick crush. Well, one of them.

Be sure and tune in next Thursday from noon until 1pm for the Slash Radio Takeover. Good thing he won’t be here in the studio cuz I’d probably make an ass of myself, try to hump his leg or something. Gross, I know. TMI, I know.

And even more strange, I happen to find Iggy Pop somewhat attractive as well. He’s 62, I get it. But DAMN! I still think he’s hot. I’d hit that. I’d hit them both. Please, can someone tell me what’s wrong with me?

Well, there’s not really any extra super fun being had at all. I guess I should just call this post Tuesday Afternoon Ruminations. Odds and Ends? Drivel? Yes, drivel works.

I thought I would start the week trying to be a nicer person. After ripping on poor Kenny’s hideoous plastic surgery scarred face and the Idols butchering the Stones last week (I mean really, they were set up for failure. No one can cover the damn Stones. NO ONE!),  I felt a tad guilty and decided to try and be nicer. Like Iris, who always posts something sweet and inspirational while I spout meanness and sarcasm. (Iris: YOU try standing on a stage and singing in front of millions of people and see how YOU do! CRITIC! Me (primly): Well I would if I weren’t too old to be on the show and I would kick ass. I would sing White Rabbit and I would bring the house down. Even Simon would love me. It would be just like the original song because that was perfect and could never be improved upon, artistic interpretation be damned. I digress.) So me. I should be more Iris. Nicer. Nice Amy, please show your face.

First, I shouted at bad drivers today. Second, I spoke bad about people. Alot of people. Nothing really new for me but not a good start for the nice Amy. And then Zoe, my angel daughter, said she can’t wait for tonight’s Idol because Miley Cyrus is the special guest, and I quote, “and the best singer in the world! She’s so great!” I couldn’t help but snort with laughter and remind Zoe that the identity-confused spawn of Billy Ray, at the ripe old age of 17, is far from the best singer in the world. That title, my princess, belongs to a one John Denver and don’t you forget it.  Good Lord, Miley Cyrus? Best singer ever? And from the Stones to GD Miley Cyrus? I am reminded why I never watched Idol in the first place, other than the fact that I never had a TV. Welcome back mean Amy. Welcome back. Not that you ever left.

But I’m serious about John. He was the best singer ever. That’s me being nice, right?

PS- just visited that Not Kenny Rogers twitter link again. Still laughing.

The story of The Runaways is now the subject of a biopic that was released in limited release over the weekend.  With Joan Jett and the Blackhearts coming to Chinook Winds on April 16 & 17, I think seeing this movie and then Joan herself is a wonderful plan.  However when Rolling Stone put out their list of the Top Ten Biopics, they didn’t include “The Runaways.”  Oh well. 

Here’s the list:

1. “I’m Not There” (about Bob Dylan)

2. “Ray” (about Ray Charles)

3. “The Doors”

4. “Walk the Line” (about Johnny Cash)

5. “Control” (about Ian Curtis, lead singer for Joy Division)

6. “La Bamba” (about Ritchie Valens)

7. “Sid and Nancy” (about the Sex Pistols bassist, Sid Vicious)

8. “The Buddy Holly Story”

9. “What’s Love Got to Do With It” (about Tina Turner)

10. “Great Balls of Fire” (about Jerry Lee Lewis)

I’d like to add my favorite to the list.  “Coal Miner’s Daughter” about Loretta Lynn with a stellar performance from Sissy Spacek, and she won the Oscar and Golden Globe for her role.  Plus you have Tommy Lee Jones as her husband, and Levon Helm from The Band as her father.  I’ve probably seen it about 10 times at least.  It’s funny, charming, and got me interested in someone I didn’t think I was interested in at all. 

Are there any that were left off Rolling Stone’s list that you enjoyed?  Let me know what they are.  I’m always looking for a good biopic.

While surfing through channels the other night, I found this amazing show.  The Rolling Stones former bassist, Bill Wyman put together this video with profiles and great interviews with blues artists from the beginning of the blues until the present.  I found it on Ovation, and figured it had to be a DVD.  It is.  However it’s a little hard to find.  I did find it on Bill’s own website, so click here to link to it, and have a SIGNED COPY for yourself.  Yes, it’s a bit pricy, but you’ll have Wyman’s signature to show off and impress others.  Excellent viewing.  You’ll love the people, and if you love the blues, this is a must have.