Marty and I have been going to Saturday Market since we moved here (he lived in Portland for a while before I did, and I’m pretty sure he went to the very first one ever) and our ritual is having a spring roll and hum bao.  This time I just went for the fluffy hot hum bao.  So good.  We were trying to remember how much they cost when we first started going, and he thinks it was  75 cents for the spring roll which is now $3.50.  Kind of like gasoline. 

I also found an artist that I hadn’t seen since a festival at the Resort at the Mountain almost 6 years ago.  It was great to find her and of course I bought something.  AND the guy with the cajun spices who sells me everytime with that incredible personality and smile!  I know I can get spices anywhere, but I love his banter and the experience.  Smart marketing too…he was giving away samples on chicken bits!  I did use the spices on some grilling I did this weekend and it was delicious.

I’ll confess, I’m not a big fan of the show “Portlandia” on IFC,  but many of my friends just love the heck out of it.  I guess I sort of look at Portland events and life that goes on here, like Saturday Market, as REAL Portlandia.  You don’t have to TRY to make a funny…it just is funny, and unique, and endearing to me.  My friend who just moved to the Rose City asked me why I don’t like the show , and she can quote almost every sketch.  I guess because I’ve lived here so damn long that the whole “Keep Portland Weird” thing sort of hits me as “yeah, so?”  It’s part of Portland’s charm, it’s quirky ways, it’s politics…all of it.  It’s just where we live and to me it seems normal.  My family loves to get stories of how strange Portland is and tell me like it’s a little dig.  Whatever…

The BEST book of strange tales of Portland comes from local author Chuck Palahniuk, “Fugitives and Refugees: A Walk in Portland Oregon”.  If you live here, or have family and friends who live elsewhere and just “don’t get it” when it comes to our beloved quirky ways, hand them this book.  It will save some time.

I’m looking forward to strolling around Saturday Market in the better weather ahead…whenever that will be.

I’ll print it here for you, but there’s other funny stuff on his site.  Visit and see.  Also tell me what your favorite line in here is.  Mine is the Allman Brothers…

What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You.

BY JOHN PECK

- – - -

The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.

The Who: You own a Goldwing with a baby-changing station.

Ted Nugent: Your hair has at some point been caught in a ceiling fan, boat propeller, or lathe.

The Rolling Stones: You own three cars and no stereo.

Canned Heat: You own three stereos and no car.

The Beatles: You can do exactly 1.5 pull-ups.

Badfinger: You are a Beatle.

Deep Purple: Some part of a law named after a young girl applies to you.

Led Zeppelin: The first three things you smoked were banana peels, catnip, and poppies, in that order.

Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.

The Kinks: You have bad teeth and are good in bed.

The Guess Who: You have good teeth and are bad in bed.

Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting unventilated rooms.

David Bowie: There is still, somewhere, a Dig Dug or Zaxxon machine with your high score on it.

Mott the Hoople: You are David Bowie.

The Moody Blues: You are a former volunteer at the Liberace museum, a serial killer, or both.

The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the seventies make your daughter’s roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable.

T-Rex: No matter how much you clean, there will always be trace amounts of glitter on your stove and blender.

The Eagles: You can only reach orgasm while listening to talk radio.

Pink Floyd: Your garage is full of failed versions of your stereo/barbecue hybrid.

Thin Lizzy: You are often forced to change or cancel your plans due to “NO LOITERING” signs.

ZZ Top: Your favorite Hank Williams is Hank Williams, Jr.

Chicago: You are incapable of talking about Chicago without mentioning their horn section.

Quicksilver Messenger Service: You become sullen when people don’t stick around while you fix their vacuum cleaners.

Crosby, Stills & Nash: You own an oversized hat.

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: You own three or more oversized hats.

Jefferson Airplane: You make your living buying and selling oversized hats.

AC/DC: You only remove your socks to shower, and then only reluctantly.

Aerosmith: You know a store that still sells puffy Reeboks.

Van Halen: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Jeep.

Sammy Hagar: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Subaru Brat.

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: You have an actual urine stain on your Subaru Brat.

Uriah Heep: You are the cause of the urine stain.

Santana: You have had an hours-long conversation with someone before realizing it was just a pile of clothes.

Rainbow: You have worn sweatpants to a funeral.

Foreigner: You have a severely wrinkled Jane Fonda poster under your bed.

Styx: You have a severely wrinkled Foreigner poster under your bed.

Allman Brothers Band: You do not own a bong, but can quickly make one from a piece of fruit or an abandoned toilet.

Bad Company: You have sustained several alcohol-related injuries involving sheetrock.

Cream: You know a guy who knows a guy who worked on Star Wars.

Journey: You own those running shoes that are shaped like feet.

Lynyrd Skynyrd: You somehow have both long hair and a sunburned scalp.

Yes: Your ideal partner would be into both tantric sex and fat guys.

Creedence Clearwater Revival: You are frequently missing part of an eyebrow.

Rush: You carry a small flashlight everywhere, and use it at least three times a day.

Blue Cheer: You have a subset of friends whose sole purpose is to hold your hair while you vomit.

Boston: Your best friend really likes Blue Cheer.

Steely Dan: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Remembrance of Things Past.

Fleetwood Mac: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of The Hobbit.

Blue Oyster Cult: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Type 2 Diabetes for Dummies.

Mountain: You have snorted cocaine off a Blue Oyster Cult record.

Nazareth: You have snorted cocaine off a member of Mountain.

Hawkwind: You sell cocaine to Nazareth fans.

Molly Hatchet: You sell baking soda to Hawkwind fans and tell them it’s cocaine.

Jethro Tull: You have a favorite rune.

That’s all.  Just didn’t want you to worry.

 Tomorrow, I won’t miss my morning play time.  Hey, wouldn’t life be better if we all had Kinect at work to work out our stress?  Then I vote for a nap.

Not that I’d ever send any of those things.  Okay, maybe from home, but not from work.  The list that follows is just good advice for anyone to remember.  I will include my own comments in parenthese and italics.

1. Your work email is property of the Company.  Anything you send or receive can be viewed, retrieved or saved remotely by a database administrator at any time, with or without notice to you.  Use a personal email account for personal emails. 
2. DO NOT email when angry.   Count to ten, take a deep breath, and re-read your draft 5 minutes later – and remove any inappropriate adjectives and adverbs in it before hitting send.  (I have learned the hard way on this one…but it was a scathingly brilliant rant.)
3. DO NOT discuss confidential information and forward inappropriate content.  If you would not be happy to see your email displayed on the front page of the New York Times, don’t send it.  Never make any libelous, defamatory, offensive, or obscene comments in emails, even if you intend them as a joke.  (Yeah, copy and paste is just too darned easy.)
4. DO NOT attach unnecessary files.  Only send or forward attachments when necessary.  Also be aware of the size of attachments; many systems have file size limits that will reject any email in excess of those limits.  (My birth mom still has dial up.  We can barely send a letter to her.)
5. DO NOT forward virus warnings and chain letters.  If you receive an email message warning you of a new super virus, it is most probably a hoax.  Same for solicitations for charitable causes.  By forwarding such emails you use valuable bandwidth, or worse, potentially spread viruses.  Just delete.
6. DO NOT reply to spam.  By replying to spam, for example to unsubscribe, you are confirming that your email address is “’live” and will only generate even more spam.  Just delete.
7. Proofread emails and run Spell Check before sending.  (It’s also nice if you know how to use the English language and the proper use of “their, they’re, and there.”    It’s an added bonus if you actually know some of the rules of punctuation.  I weep with joy.  I know I’m not perfect when I write, but I do try.  Go ahead, correct me.)
8. Do not overuse Reply to All. Only use “Reply to All” if each recipient really needs to see your reply.  (It’s as though people feel like they have to chime in on every little comment so they are perceived as a team player.  Stop it.  Stop it right now!) 
9. Do not overuse the high priority option.  The same goes with the use of words like URGENT and IMPORTANT in the body of the message.  We all know the story of the boy who cried wolf.  (He was eaten, right?)
10. When sending emails to large numbers of users, add all recipients as bcc’s to prevent inadvertent replies to all.  (My sister-in-law still hasn’t figured this one out, bless her heart.  Just an FYI, if you say something bad about a person and follow it up with “bless his/her heart” it’s like you never said a bad thing at all.  Ask my Mom.  I learned it from her.)

All good points and advice.  I’d also like to add a couple of other things for my friends and family. 

• Please fact check any and all political BS that you forward BEFORE you forward it.  On second thought, don’t forward it at all, because it will probably cause us to not speak for a while.  On third thought, send it.  It’s a good reason for me to not call.

• Do not send anything with sparkling angels, dumb punch lines, blonde jokes,  threats if the email is not forwarded, or animated artwork.  I will instantly delete these and start deleting all email from sender when I get these.  Also please do not send me anything with corny music in the background that is supposed to inspire me with a picture display.  Do not send Power Point attachments.  My birth father does this all the time since he retired and I don’t have the time that he has to just sit in my underwear and read this stuff on the computer like he does.  I must now wash my mind of that visual.

It’s all about common sense when it comes to the internet and some people just don’t get it. 

Excuse me, I must now go to my social networking site so I can see if I have messages that the company can’t see.

I only have “Meatfest” on my calendar for the weekend. It’s a party that Concert Dave throws every year and yes, grilled protein is definately on the bill. Of course we’ve even seen vegetarians bring boca burgers to grill, so there’s not a meat requirement for the event.

Of course Labor Day was created for a celebration and regard of the working person. It was established during the administration of Grover Cleveland. I think with the current unemployment crisis, that just having a job is something to celebrate. I thank my blessings daily that I love my job! There are plenty of jobs that are truly thankless, and to anyone working these…a BIG THANK YOU for doing the unthinkable.

I found some sites that have funny, weird, or awful jobs so I’m sharing them with you here:

This is a funny picture display of bad jobs.

Here’s a link to bad jobs that pay well.

Here’s a link to the most bizarre and dirty jobs that I never even thought of.

HAPPY LABOR DAY!  Enjoy the Block Party!

Amy OUT!